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1. Self Awareness
Solitude creates the space to connect with what we truly think and feel. 2. Be More Creative In solitude, the swirl of your busy life calms and recedes around you so that your ideas, inspirations, and innate creativity will bubble to the surface. 3. Enjoy You Let go of what others think of you - stop worrying about your impact on others. Solitude allows you to do whatever you want; a joy that can be difficult to experience when others are around. 4. Refuel Yourself Use solitude to let go of the complications of life and others, and fall into the beauty of the present moment. Slow down and recoup your energy, gathering strength to re-engage with your life. 5. Process Difficult Feelings and Emotions Sometimes it’s good to talk to others, and sometimes it’s just better to be alone. In solitude we can face the whole of something, sob our hearts out if we need to - and hold nothing back. 6. Learn to Love and Accept Yourself Solitude gives us the space to meet our inner critic or person, examine our fears or limitations, and begin to become comfortable with ALL of ourselves. 7. Deep Gratitude Time alone gives us precious time to reflect and see everything we have to be grateful for - big and small. We can learn to appreciate life in all of its glory. 8. Boost Confidence Solitude allows you to honor yourself as God’s creation. The simple act of being alone with yourself is incredibly powerful, you literally show yourself that “I’m worthy”. 9. Get Clarity Solitude helps the muddy waters of life to settle. You can reflect on what is and what is not working for you in life - whether it’s a difficult situation, relationship, decision or something else. Alone time helps you clearly see the whole truth of things 10. And finally, we need alone time because: In SOLITUDE we get essential thinking and praying time to ask our important questions, along with space for ideas to arise - so we get the life DIRECTION we need. 4/6/2022 My ConfessionI watched it on live t.v. Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. I gasped in shock and sat in confusion thinking that they had just pulled off a comedic bit that definitely surprised us all. Then quickly it seemed it wasn’t a bit at all but actually real. My response is something I’m not proud of. The words that came out of my mouth were, “Someone get me some popcorn because I’m gonna be watching all the news outlets to watch this play out!” My reaction after the shock was that this was funny and entertaining and finally someone was standing up to how our physical appearances as women are so often picked apart.
Our reactions and decisions are windows. The following day a sadness started to settle on me. I kept seeing the video being replayed over and over and over again. I was sad for Rock’s family seeing him humiliated. I was sad that we’ve applauded for so long jokes relating to a woman’s appearance not only from comedians like Rock but from so many others. I was sad that Smith chose violence to address the wrong. I was sad that he didn’t apologize when he had the mic and speak to the wrong they both were in. I was sad thinking about those that have suffered from violence and their abuser excuse it because just like Smith said, “love makes a person do crazy things”. And then the memes started and videos of people reenacting the assault for laughs. The sadness started to make my stomach turn. Our reactions and decisions are windows. So I asked this question. What was that initial reaction I had to the assault saying about me? About what was inside of me or what was lacking? I’m still processing this but here’s where those questions have led me. I could watch what happened and laugh because I wasn’t seeing those involved as people. I saw actors. I saw entertainers, characters whose singular job it was to please me and wisp me away into some over the top, larger than life big screen story that I would later get to critique. I saw elites and privileged. I did not see people, a person, a human being, a soul. I didn’t see those involved as actual living, breathing, blood flowing through their veins, people. Our reactions and decisions are windows. I asked again. What else was my reaction to this revealing? I saw an aspect of myself. Rock, in a way, embodied hurt from others. Those that have said hurtful things to me or about me. Those that have hurt my kids or my husband. Situations that were unjust. And Will, did, what at times, I wanted to do but by the grace of God, did not. Our reactions and decisions are windows. My next question? What does this awareness do for me? Well, it reminds me that I’m still growing. And so I’m taking the posture of sitting at the Lord's feet as He receives my confession, forgives me and starts to massage those places of my heart and thinking that are in need of molding more into His image. What’s my next step? To look at what I can learn from what happened. Opportunities for much needed conversations, awareness and growth. How can we learn to manage anger healthier? Are we really too sensitive now or have we been so desensitized for so long that this space of empathizing is incredibly foreign and feels weak or “too sensitive”? What parts of the old standard are worth bringing with us as we continue our communal journey and which have we learned to do better? So now we can be better. Like I said, I’m still processing but I wanted to share a glimpse of the contemplative journey. And that yes, although I’m a Spiritual Growth Coach, I’m on this journey as well. Learning to do better and working towards being better. 3/9/2022 Two Different Types of EncouragersYou finally did it! You took the leap, said the things and had all the feelings with saying yes to pursuing your dream! You are now among those that have made the bold choice to allow their gifts to live outside of themselves. No more denying, shushing or hiding. Whew! Let me tell ya! That took some courage and bravery my friend. In fact, I’m sure it still does. There’s so much to say about it but here’s my one thing for our “Hey, ya got 5 minutes?”. I’ve learned there are different types of encouragers. Two of those types are Passive and Assertive. Now, this isn’t about wrong or right. This is more about knowing what’s what, who’s who and letting them be in their place.
I’ve come to know the Passive Encourager as someone who is a good listener and encouraging when YOU bring up what you’re doing. They’re not negative and in fact may even lend some good ideas. The Passive Encourager though is not the person who’s going to ask you how things are going or how you’re doing in your pursuit. It’ll only come up if YOU’RE the one bringing it up. Even if you’re asking about their own pursuits. The Assertive Encourager has a different approach. They’re good listeners as well but they assert their encouragement by THEM asking YOU about your pursuits, how things are going and how you are doing. They don’t wait for you to bring it up. They’re more…assertive. They ask. It may not be every day or every week but you know that at any given time in your interactions with them that they may ask you specifically about your dream. Again, this isn’t about wrong or right. It’s about knowing what’s what, who’s who and letting them be in their place.For me it’s been helpful to understand the differences so that I can shift my expectations or hopes. Before this, I’d get in my head wondering why they never asked how things were going. Even though I would ask about their roles, jobs, and dreams. I’d start to feel unseen and feel as if maybe they didn't think my pursuits were valuable enough to acknowledge. But that’s the sort of negativity that can become a disease to our dreams. Both our Passive and Assertive Encouragers play a role in our lives. Some of my Passive Encouragers are people that I know that if something huge went down, they’d be there for me. My Assertive Encouragers keep me accountable because I know the questions may come and I feed off of that accountability. I’m seen by both, just in different ways. But Bren, I really wish they’d ask me how things are going. It’s one thing to recognize what’s what and who’s who. But may a question is, what do you need? And yes, it’s okay that you need something! Maybe you’re okay now that you understand there are different types of encouragers. Great! But if not, if you need something different, may be consider speaking up. This is where you’ll have to do the work of understanding what you need and what it does for you. It’s also helpful to learn how that need is best met for you. No matter how close someone is to us, they can only guess at what we need and how that need is met. After you’ve given space for your own personal discovery journey, it’s time for the conversation. It’s always good to start with hearing the other person out. Share what you’ve observed and allow them to speak into that. Maybe they didn’t realize it was okay to ask. Maybe they don’t feel comfortable asking what seems to them to be a personal question. Hear them out. That will help you navigate the conversation and how you can share what you would like in the relationship. I’d also add, be willing to hear what they can give and what they can’t give. I mean, you can’t be everything that each of your friends want or needs, right? Neither can they. No matter what, don’t let anything take away from the brave step you took in allowing your gifts to breathe life! You are courageous! |
AuthorBrenda Renderos ArchivesCategories |
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